So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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