yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
