JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
