she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Damn victory sex feels great
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
