So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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