dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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