A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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