R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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