Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize