Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
