I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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