Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
my god I love twenty year old dicks
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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