she takes plan B like it's going out of style
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
