when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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