She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
