the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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