Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
