I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
