no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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