at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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