hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
