I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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