I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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