Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
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She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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