there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
