he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
