OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
