What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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