Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
