a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
