fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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