You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
