You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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