You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
