i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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