hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
