ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
