I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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