i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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