If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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