Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are we still banned from the library?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
