I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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