OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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