At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this just has baby written all over it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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