Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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