shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize