And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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