Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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