UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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