I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Mom said you looked used
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
