Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
