Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
