am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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