i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
