Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
