dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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