I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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