Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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